A little support for the girls

Last night was my first infertility support group meeting. Unfortunately there we only 2 participants (me and another girl). It was totally different to meet someone IRL who is going through similar procedures and dealing with the same crapola. She is on her 3rd IVF and has PCOS (which I really don't know much about). She told me her IVF was 11,000! Wow! I guess Dr. Sensitive was accurate when he said his fees were reasonable. She also said her insurance covered it so maybe they jack up the price when insurance pays? It wouldn't surprise me.

So, girls (& guys). Do you want to share your favorite blogs with me? And why? Add a little spice to life. Ya know?

I'm just sayin'

I have no point, I just wanted to share because I thought it was cool. Yesterday when I walked from the office I work in to the train station the sidewalk was a blocked, a lot of people were gathered, and a tour bus was parked in front of the W.estin Hotel. I asked the bus driver what was going on and I learned the P.ittsburgh Pen.guins were staying there and that was one of their buses (the playoffs and all...Philly is seriously hurting for ANY sports success).


Sweetness and I met with Dr. Sensitive yesterday. I was mistaken, yes I had one 1" cyst, but it was endometriosis on my bladder. What can I say, he told me when I was groggy and somewhat out of it from anesthesia. He also told me I am totally totally normal. He went on to say that he is pretty discriminating and that all my girly parts looked good (of course he was more technical, lol).

Then we discussed IVF. I asked if they offer any sort of shared risk program and he said it currently being worked on, but as of right now they don't have anything. He went on to say if I wanted to switch clinics he would gladly support me and offer any necessary assistance. He suggested I check into other clinics in the area for price comparison and said I would find his pricing competitive and on the lower end. He said he wouldn't be able to stay in business if his rates were not (PA does not have state mandated fertility coverage) and he cited his success rate. I was already pretty sure I wanted to stay with him because I trust him, I know a few people who have successfully used him, and he is close.

Then I asked if he had any idea how aggressive he would be because I wanted to get an idea about medication cost. He said he wouldn't be as aggressive as he could be because of my medical conditions and my petite stature both affect the multiple thing. He gave us a stern lecture about me even carrying twins. Sweetness asked him if he thought it would be a health risk for me, he said yes, and Sweetness said there was no way we would allow that (thanks Sweetness). Of course all this is assuming I will get pregnant. Again, I asked if all my hormone levels are normal (yes) and I asked about the immunology testing (all normal). I'm getting sidetracked. The IVF itsel is around 5,000 and he estimated the meds would be around 1,500. I talked to my parents. Daddio will supply the 5,000 and we will pay for meds.

Now, will Sweetness who never wants to accept help from my parents be comfortable with that. I don't know, but it wasn't the right time to bring it up. He is mega-stressed because his "Associate Fellow" packet is due today and his mentor had a TON of suggested changes. He was up late last night trying to finish.

Then the other option to ponder is one month with injectibles or going straight to IVF.

Silver lining? Remember we used 2 donors. Donor number 1 had inconstencies. His one vial had low morphology, the second one had low numbers, and the third was good. He guys were always perfectly formed. Anyway, we have 4 vials left and we can use them for IVF which is pretty great since the swimmers are pricey.

Ms. P, I will take you up on your offer. Thanks!

Now I feel like a big old schmuck

When I got home from work my Aunt Florence (ok, she's my mom's aunt, but I call her Aunt Florence) had sent me a card. Aunt Florence is the grandmother of the two baby producing relatives. She said how we were missed at the gathering on Saturday, but she understood it was a long drive since I had just had surgery. She hoped I was feeling better and hoped she would see me at the baptism. She made me cry although you would think I would have gotten all my crying* done with my morning cathartic post.

*The words selfish and self centered are flying through my brain.

A Good Ole Rant

Yes, I squeezed in a few posts, but with being away and all I haven't checked in w/my Google Reader since last week. So, uh, only 177 more posts to read ;-).

But hey, I don't have to be at Dr. Sensitives until 11:00 so I have time. Did you catch that? We have an appointment w/Dr. Sensitive today to go over the results from Wednesday's surgery. Ooooh, I get to see pictures of my cysts. Can life get better than THAT? Come on who doesn't want to see a pic of a large cyst that attached itself to my bladder? I am now cyst-free and living the high life. The life of the non-overactive bladder and UTI chick.

I survived another Non-Mother's Day. Atleast it is over. I avoided the family M. Day gathering on Saturday. Hmmm, this is now the second gathering I have avoided because of "valid" reasons (FIL birthday and surgery recovery). My mom told me everyone was very concerned about my recovery. I won't be able to avoid the upcoming baptism.

All I could do is be snarky and ask about my cousin's new house because when she saw our new house she said it was "cute". In my mind cute = small. Especially since our house is not small. She lives in the middle of no-where-ville in an area where the cost of living is MUCH lower. So sure, she was able to get a huge new house WITH the help of BOTH sets of parents. Not that it's a competition, but I always find myself comparing and feeling inadequate because we haven't achieved the "holy grail". We bought our house with no help from our parents and we live in one of the top school districts in PA for the nonexistent child (hers doesn't have a good rep at all) and a totally charming area . Her's not so much, she lives near a race track. If you like Na.scar it's the way to go, but I'll take my nice town w/walking trails, parks, huge old homes, an honest to goodness main street, and festivals.

In general she bugs me because she's a little snotty and a few years ago at the Easter gathering she told me she and her husband were going to begin trying to get pregnant and she showed up pregnant 3 months later. Have I been resentful since? YES. Especially since the whole freaking family revolves around Riley this and Riley that. Who give a flying fart about Riley? And who names their child Riley? What kind of gender neutral name is that? Quiz: Is Riley a boy or a girl? There are other things to talk about besides the baby, mommyhood, and childcare. How about your job, books, movies you've seen, etc. And now the other cousin has a baby. I know all gatherings will revolve around new baby Olivia (atleast you can tell she's girl). While I get to sit there and avoid the baby? Or blink back tears? Have a pity party in the bathroom? Or mom comfortingly rubs my arm and asks me if I'm ok? Or suck down wine? Or try to make myself feel better by reminding myself of all I've had to overcome w/my health issues and infertile husband? That hey, I haven't had a baby so I've kept my figure? That we're lucky and don't have to worry about money? It's pretty pathetic and sad. I'm not very proud of my snarky self.
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On another note, I found a small study on the internet that showed Pro.zac helped slowdown progression of MS. If Pr.ozac didn't have se.x drive problems I would consider it. Think about it. An anti-depressant AND the MS thing? Hmm, I wonder if you can be pregnant on it.

Sometimes we end up in the strangest places.

Yup, our goal was a large lake that we wanted to check our for potential hiking trails and kayaking/canoeing/boating. Lo and behold we saw a sign for an animal park. Hmmm, we said, atleast it will be a good laugh, but it was actually pretty cool. I was so close to the animals. Observe the minimal fencing around them (except the more ferocious animals like lions, tigers, etc).

This was the lake we were trying to reach when we got sidetracked by the zoo.

On Saturday night we went to a nearby winery (I know your shocked) where they hosted a candlelight barrel tasting. It was very cool! There was live music, wine tasting, and food. Then we got to go down in the basement where the wine casks are stored and taste four upcoming wines. The guy had a turkey baster, sucked up a little wine, and poured into our glasses. Very nifty!

Wuv, True Wuv (quick, what movie?)**

Those coworkers? I was talking to my one coworker who I work closely with and we were discussing our bosses son's wedding that is coming up in October (he sent save the date magnets). I said I had always wished someone had gotten us one of those embroidered blankets when we got married. Guess what my three coworkers sent me as a get well gift?

I have very very nice coworkers (excuse me while I get weepy).

If you didn't figure it out, our wedding anniversary is coming up. Yes, next month we will have been married for 9 looooong years.

**The Princess Bride

Those darn annual events & mish-mash

Yup, it's that time again and I'm sure I am not the only one bothered by the day those of us struggling to become a mom scathingly call a "hallmark holiday" - M. Day. Annual events like holidays are when I struggle the most. This year it began with Halloween and continued on through my birthday in February. I had a brief respite and moved on the MS Walk and M. Day (sigh). Luckily I don't struggle with 4th of July, Memorial Day, or Labor Day.

Sweetness and I are at the Vacay house. The internet is down even though the cable guys came yesterday. The cable was not working on Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday morning. By the time the cable dudes came (AT THE END OF THE WINDOW OF TIME WE WERE GIVEN...GRRRR) they went in and looked and it was working. The Sweetness/Trace duo were pissed. They boosted our signal and lo and behold it is not working today so I'm holed up at the hotel lobby taking advantage of their free WiFi.

I didn't anticipate my stomach muscles being so sore from the surgery and I sort of overdid it on Thursday when we went to a little zoo. It was very cool and I couldn't believe how close I was able to get to a camel and a giraffe. (pics when I'm not in a hotel lobby) Anyway, I vegetated yesterday. Boy was it boring to not do anything. I missed my beloved internets and bloggy fix.